I can no longer move. My heart is froze with fear. I have faced the evil that lies within and it frightens me.
There's nothing more tragic than a man who has lost his way; who can no longer trust his heart to find it. Should I speak of myself as tragic? It is a sad state of affairs that I do . I am lost in a forest, hiding behind each tree is danger. I am afraid to walk on and afraid to stand still, not knowing what sort of beast is lurking just out of sight to prey on me.
Once, a long time ago, I was on a path. I knew where I was going and I knew the way home. Now, I am lost.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Thursday, June 17, 2010
The Last Of Our Days
At one time or another we all ask ourselves how we will spend the last of our days. Will they come in springtime? Will the smell of honeysuckle and the sound of birds chirping fill the air? Will you look to see a grandchild running off into your woods, or watch the cattle move slowly across the field? Though we speak of it not to our neighbors the thought plagues us daily, if not hourly. But we come to terms to with it; we know it must come. And in some odd way, we look forward to it; the end of strife; the end of struggle. Somehow we think that if there is something beyond, it must be restful. Occasionally, we breathe a sigh of relief, knowing it will come and that we don’t have to arrange it; we don’t have to send out the invitations or double check the guest list; we don’t have to do anything but wait. And there’s some comfort in that. It’s one decision we don’t have to make.
Friday, December 4, 2009
America The Beautiful
The frost covered the fields across from our house as we pulled out the driveway just past dawn. The mostly-full moon shined bright in the pale morning sky. I turned the stereo on and "A Whiter Shade Of Pale," by Procol Harum filled the air. I sipped coffee from a go-mug and looked at Leslie, her skin smooth against the mist rising from the land. The thought of how fortunate I am did not escape me.
We drove slightly uphill till we reached the peak of a small rise on the highway toward Russeville. When the road leveled out, a panoramic picture of rolling land lay before me, reminiscent of the English countryside; trees sprinkled the fence lines and filled the far-off hills framing the horizon.
There were signs of commerce along the route amidst the country homes dotting the landscape. I wondered what it'd be like for someone from Europe to see this part of Kentucky for the first time. I often complain about living in Kentucky. "I'd rather be in Europe," I've told my friends upon many a gathering. And if the truth be told, I entertain this thought almost daily.
I like Europe because the people there seem to me to be much more broadminded. But then again, I've never lived in Europe; I've only visited there. No doubt that it's not as grandiose as I make it out to be. I'd imagine it's much like America; views change as often as the scenery. Certainly the French, with their love for wine and insatiable appetite for sex, would be much more accepting of the liberal minded than the Italians who live in the shadow of Roman Catholicism. They, much as we who live in the southern states of America, never escape the all-seeing eyes of the church; ours, of course, is Southern Baptist.
The English have conservative and liberal political parties, as we do. So they too, must be fraught with frivolous arguments of who-knows-best. But I must admit, there's a great advantage to having a pub on every corner, as England does, and trains and buses in even the smallest of villages. So, I cannot totally escape the fantasy of owning a farm in the English countryside. But what would an Englishmen think of this view I'm seeing right now, or a Frenchmen or an Italian? No doubt that they would be no less enchanted watching a beautiful woman drive them faithful toward Russellville. And when they'd return home, they'd tell their friends America is beautiful. And yes, I can verify she is. I'm lucky to have known her.
We drove slightly uphill till we reached the peak of a small rise on the highway toward Russeville. When the road leveled out, a panoramic picture of rolling land lay before me, reminiscent of the English countryside; trees sprinkled the fence lines and filled the far-off hills framing the horizon.
There were signs of commerce along the route amidst the country homes dotting the landscape. I wondered what it'd be like for someone from Europe to see this part of Kentucky for the first time. I often complain about living in Kentucky. "I'd rather be in Europe," I've told my friends upon many a gathering. And if the truth be told, I entertain this thought almost daily.
I like Europe because the people there seem to me to be much more broadminded. But then again, I've never lived in Europe; I've only visited there. No doubt that it's not as grandiose as I make it out to be. I'd imagine it's much like America; views change as often as the scenery. Certainly the French, with their love for wine and insatiable appetite for sex, would be much more accepting of the liberal minded than the Italians who live in the shadow of Roman Catholicism. They, much as we who live in the southern states of America, never escape the all-seeing eyes of the church; ours, of course, is Southern Baptist.
The English have conservative and liberal political parties, as we do. So they too, must be fraught with frivolous arguments of who-knows-best. But I must admit, there's a great advantage to having a pub on every corner, as England does, and trains and buses in even the smallest of villages. So, I cannot totally escape the fantasy of owning a farm in the English countryside. But what would an Englishmen think of this view I'm seeing right now, or a Frenchmen or an Italian? No doubt that they would be no less enchanted watching a beautiful woman drive them faithful toward Russellville. And when they'd return home, they'd tell their friends America is beautiful. And yes, I can verify she is. I'm lucky to have known her.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Tired of Pretending
I'm sick and damn tired of pretending every thing is okay. It's not okay. It sucks not being able to drive. It's just a damn hassle all the time. If I want an allergy shot or a haircut, or if I have to do anything that requires going in town, then I have to go in with Leslie and sit around all day long, wasting time, and then figure out how I'm going here or there, or where ever it is I need to go. Living in Rockfield, or just about anywhere in these blessed United States and not being able to drive just SUCKS OUT LOUD. All these frigging politicians arguing about "big government" or "abortion" or "whatever the latest bullshit they're saying to get elected" doesn't do handicapped people one damn bit of good. Who the hell is trying to help the blind, or the deaf anymore? NOBODY.
Saturday, October 10, 2009
vv
October 9, 2009
State Dept. on Nobel: 'Better to be thrown accolades than shoes'
Posted: October 9th, 2009 05:09 PM ET
From CNN State Department Producer Elise Labott
State Dept. on Nobel: 'Better to be thrown acolades than shoes'.
WASHINGTON (CNN) – "Certainly from our standpoint, this gives us a sense of momentum — when the United States has accolades tossed its way, rather than shoes."
That's the take of Hillary Clinton's State Department on President Obama being awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, according to her spokesman, Assistant Secretary PJ Crowley.
Crowley was referring to the incident last December when an Iraqi journalist threw his shoes at President George W. Bush during his final visit to Iraq of his presidency.
Muntader Zaidi, who worked for the Iraqi television station Al Baghdadiya, hurled both his shoes at Bush and called him a "dog" during a press conference with Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki. He narrowly missed the president, who quickly ducked.
The shoe-throwing, considered one of the highest insults in the Middle East, illustrated the deep anger toward the United States over its invasion and occupation of Iraq.
Crowley's comments suggested a recognition by the Obama administration that the Nobel Prize was as much an indictment of the Bush administration as it was an effort to praise President Obama's outreach to improve the US image around the world.
Echoing comments by the White House, Crowley said the award was not just an "affirmation" of the Obama administration's foreign policy strategy of engagement, but also on its robust foreign policy agenda, which includes non-proliferation, dealing with Iran and North Korea, and pursuing peace in the Middle East.
"There is an opportunity here," Crowley said. "The tone has changed — but obviously we recognize that, while the tone in the world has changed, the challenges remain. They are very significant."
This "call to action," Crowley said, will fall primarily on the shoulders of Secretary Clinton and the State Department, who will look "to advance the president's agenda and confront the challenges of the 21st century."
Filed under: Nobel Peace Prize • President Obama • State Department
State Dept. on Nobel: 'Better to be thrown accolades than shoes'
Posted: October 9th, 2009 05:09 PM ET
From CNN State Department Producer Elise Labott
State Dept. on Nobel: 'Better to be thrown acolades than shoes'.
WASHINGTON (CNN) – "Certainly from our standpoint, this gives us a sense of momentum — when the United States has accolades tossed its way, rather than shoes."
That's the take of Hillary Clinton's State Department on President Obama being awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, according to her spokesman, Assistant Secretary PJ Crowley.
Crowley was referring to the incident last December when an Iraqi journalist threw his shoes at President George W. Bush during his final visit to Iraq of his presidency.
Muntader Zaidi, who worked for the Iraqi television station Al Baghdadiya, hurled both his shoes at Bush and called him a "dog" during a press conference with Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki. He narrowly missed the president, who quickly ducked.
The shoe-throwing, considered one of the highest insults in the Middle East, illustrated the deep anger toward the United States over its invasion and occupation of Iraq.
Crowley's comments suggested a recognition by the Obama administration that the Nobel Prize was as much an indictment of the Bush administration as it was an effort to praise President Obama's outreach to improve the US image around the world.
Echoing comments by the White House, Crowley said the award was not just an "affirmation" of the Obama administration's foreign policy strategy of engagement, but also on its robust foreign policy agenda, which includes non-proliferation, dealing with Iran and North Korea, and pursuing peace in the Middle East.
"There is an opportunity here," Crowley said. "The tone has changed — but obviously we recognize that, while the tone in the world has changed, the challenges remain. They are very significant."
This "call to action," Crowley said, will fall primarily on the shoulders of Secretary Clinton and the State Department, who will look "to advance the president's agenda and confront the challenges of the 21st century."
Filed under: Nobel Peace Prize • President Obama • State Department
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Now
There's no time,
it's in your mind,
it never did exist.
It comes from pain,
regret and shame,
it's a long, slow goodbye kiss.
Everything is past
Everything is now,
Everything will come to pass
We're moving through,
the me and you,
the first and the last
If you look,
it's a finished book,
not a page has been wrote
It's never been,
It's always been,
Let it be
The truth is clear,
everyone is here
All are free
it's in your mind,
it never did exist.
It comes from pain,
regret and shame,
it's a long, slow goodbye kiss.
Everything is past
Everything is now,
Everything will come to pass
We're moving through,
the me and you,
the first and the last
If you look,
it's a finished book,
not a page has been wrote
It's never been,
It's always been,
Let it be
The truth is clear,
everyone is here
All are free
Pain
I just need a break from pain; pain from pressure, pain from drumming; pain from politics; pain from people with different politics; pain from digging trenches; pain from pain. But mostly, I need a scotch, single malt, please.
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