Either Or

Now that I have convictions, I have no companions. For the life of me, I cannot decide whose company is the loneliest.

A new day

After reading my last entry, I've decided to change. No more looking back, no more trying to find myself, no more wondering what I should be doing. From now on, I'm just going to do; going to be whatever I am at the moment.

Just before posting this, I read a quote by the Dalai Lama that reinforced my new attitude.

"The most important benefit of patience consists in the way it acts as a powerful antidote to the affliction of anger - the greatest threat to our inner peace, and therefore our happiness. The mind, or spirit, is not physical, it cannot be touched or harmed directly. Only negative thoughts and emotions can harm it. Therefore, only the corresponding positive quality can protect it."

Lost

I can no longer move. My heart is froze with fear. I have faced the evil that lies within and it frightens me.

There's nothing more tragic than a man who has lost his way; who can no longer trust his heart to find it. Should I speak of myself as tragic? It is a sad state of affairs that I do . I am lost in a forest, hiding behind each tree is danger. I am afraid to walk on and afraid to stand still, not knowing what sort of beast is lurking just out of sight to prey on me.

Once, a long time ago, I was on a path. I knew where I was going and I knew the way home. Now, I am lost.